Scanxiety. A new term I was introduced to as I waited for the results from the first CT scan after 2 chemotherapy treatments. A CT Scan for me involved getting a contrast infusion to light up my body inside so the doctors could clearly see where the cancer was. It was able to be located and measured to see the progress of growth or shrinkage. With the vision of the wicked witch of the north shrinking dancing in my head, I waited with my sister to hear the results from the CT Scan in the waiting room. The doctor came in. She was smiling. The tumor had shrunk 1.5 cm. I wanted to throw up. 1.5 cm? I wanted 50% shrinkage not 10 percent. The tumor was 15 cm by 8 cm. The doctor explained that the tumor could have not shrunk at all or it could have grown. We are going in the right direction, she said. The doctors said we will continue the chem treatments and CT Scans will be repeated every 6 weeks. That meant, a CT Scan was given after 2 chemo treatments. All I could think of was, I had to wait another 6 weeks to see progress. Hopefully more than 1.5 cm of shrinkage.
What I did not know at this time, was that this will continue, the CT Scans, for the rest of my life.